Kago Ai, formerly of a member of Hello! Project and several groups therein, including Morning Musume, Mini Moni, Tanpopo, and W, attempted suicide by slitting her wrists. She was rushed to the hospital when she was found today on the floor of her apartment. It is also suspected that she took a lot of drugs or medicines as well.
Thankfully, she is in stable condition, at least physically. Mentally, I don’t know… It’s been scandal after scandal with her since her exile from Hello! Project, and the downward spiral continues.
I’ve got a love/hate relationship with how I feel about Kago Ai. Once upon a time she was one of my favorite idols, and hands-down my favorite member of Morning Musume. She had my favorite voice, a mischevious and fun personality, and was downright adorable. But, since all the scandals began – her smoking, dating married men, getting kicked out of H!P after being given another chance, and the latest one: her 44-year-old boyfriend was arrested for mafia relations… Well, it’s easy to see, Kago is not who she appeared to be.
I was never able to get past even the first scandal with her. Smoking, for me, is one of the most repulsive things one can do, so it was hard for me to see her in the same light after that. The other scandals that followed only made things worse. I can’t be a fan of what Kago Ai is now.
I feel a lot of emotions right now, for someone who isn’t even a fan of her anymore. I’m sad for her, because to attempt suicide, she must really feel like there’s nothing left for her. I’m angry at her, for making so many wrong choices and taking a path that could lead her nowhere good. Somewhere in there I’m even still supportive of her, I want to give her a hug and tell her, she can get better, she can make it through this, she still has so much left to live for.
I think these kinds of things are really difficult for those of us who follow idols, because they force us to pull our heads of of our happy clouds and see that life for these girls isn’t all sugar and sunshine. What they go through, being famous, is hard. Not all of them make it through the same way they started. To see Kago Ai, who I used to absolutely adore, reduced to this, is heart-wrenching. Even if the girl I “knew” from Morning Musume wasn’t who she really was at all.
I hope Kago is able to heal and recover from this. And what I really hope is that she is able to start over again and be as happy as she seemed to be way back when.